Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather is down in the basement and going through a lot right now.  Her fat kneecap is fat, but a visit to the Dr.’s office leads to hearing a missing puzzle piece about her Dad.  She also chats about the Buff City Soap mafia coming for her.  We hear voicemails from one of our Love on the Spectrum favorites, a mom debating about using her kid on TikTok and a royal family hater. Episode Sponsors: Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Head to livemomentous.com, and use promo code absolutely for up to 35% off your first order Visit yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY to enter and upgrade your freezer!! Go to RO.CO/ABSOLUTELYNOT to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro. Here's the thing you need to know: lululemon does limited color runs, so when those new styles drop every Tuesday, they go fast. You don't wanna wait. If it's not for you, lululemon offers free returns, no risk. That's lululemon.com. New drops every Tuesday. Go now.  Learn more about Camp Unwritten under Limited-Time Offers at experiences.hyatt.com. Help protect your home systems – and your wallet – with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to HomeServe.com to find the plan that’s right for you. Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month your first year. Terms apply on covered repairs. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In honor of Masters Week, we are replaying a 2023 episode where we join Heather as she sits down with the ultimate scammer, Raymond.  We discuss how they scammed their way into the Masters tournament, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They get into just how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they really drank! Episode Sponsors: Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purch necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: Yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY  Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Learn more about Camp Unwritten under Limited-Time Offers at experiences.hyatt.com. Ready to do your own spring reset? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/absolutely or download the Acorns app to get started. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the podcast studio after breaking the hard news that Becky cannot join us on the Absolutely Knot Cruise 2.0. They chat about the happy memories from the cruise.  Becky lets us know how she lets loose when she comes home from the road. Episode Sponsors: When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in 3–6 months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code ABSOLUTELY for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/ABSOLUTELY Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $230 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Caraway. Non-Toxic kitchenware made modern. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is at the LA studio and welcoming her first live callers! These hussies really bring some wild spring break Absolutely Not’s to Heather and we are forever changed! We have callers that were down at the Villages, on a hetero bachelor party in Baltimore, wheelin’ and dealin’ in Daytona as a newly crowned amateur stripper, a near miss on girls gone wild Gen Xer and someone who voluntarily went on a Greyhound for over 24 hours. Episode Sponsors: Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Learn more about Camp Unwritten under Limited-Time Offers at experiences.hyatt.com. Visit yasso.com/absolutely to enter and upgrade your freezer! Find full giveaway details, rules, and regulations. Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purchase necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: Yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Jeff to the studio to discuss all things Japan!  They go through their wagyu dinner reservations, baseball with Ohtani, treats from 7-11 and overall Japanese culture. They give you everything you need to know before heading over to Japan for the first time. Episode Sponsors: Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Head to Knix.com and you’ll see why I love Knix. Don’t forget to use code ABSOLUTELY for 15 percent off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing bras, and more! You’re going to thank me! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Robin's Basement and ready to take on the chaos of the week.  She has some exciting news about an upcoming live voicemails episode- make sure to take notes on how you can be chosen to chat with Heather.  She has fresh highlights, lashes and is contemplating how a government shuts down.  She chats about life as a tee ball mom as well as her newest internet troll. Episode Sponsors:  Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.   Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $230 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from Japan and has already put on her Nurse Ratchet outfit.  There is no rest yet, she has to now take care of a toddler, figure out what to do with a frozen Christmas ham and get a surgery scheduled.  She takes on voicemails about the origins of tiramisu and men holding their own baby showers.  Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $230 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase.This deal is exclusive for our listeners. Caraway. Non-Toxic kitchenware made modern. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for 30% off your first order plus a FREE $60 gift! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode from March 9, 2022, we hear Heather go on a real tear about International Women's Day. Coming off of a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes on tour, she's back with attitude and some Heather health advice (we all know she is not a Dr., but wears a short white coat). Heather also takes voicemails from the hotline. Episode Sponsors: Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow comedian Nicole Byer. They chat about meeting in the NYC comedy scene, the Heated Rivalry boys, and disassociating while on stage performing. They take on a voicemail about having sex dreams about a boss. You can find Nicole’s new crowd work special on YouTube, out on tour and or on any of her many podcasts. Episode Sponsors: Your emotional wellbeing matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.  Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather has skeeted into the house fresh off a nose bleed.  She is ready to take on her birthday month of March! She shares details of an upcoming shoot she is nervous about and her shows in Texas and her roots in the rodeo. Heading to Japan soon, she is ready to adopt Punch herself.   She takes on a voicemail about the theatre kids version of the high school sport team.  Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code ABSOLUTELY for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/ABSOLUTELY. Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/absolutely. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Go to Ro.co/absolutelynot to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes back your rich BFF, Vivian Tu, back to the pod.  She is ready for all of you to be well-endowed, but wants you to make sure you don’t fall for the traps of online marketing.  Vivian wants you to ask yourself- are you buying the thing or the feeling? Heather goes to her threads to ask Vivian what the people have questions about.  Episode Sponsors: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. If you want clearer insight into your health, go to ForHers.com and schedule your labs today. Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.  Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels about her, as well as a reluctant cat daddy and a MIL who is just trying to help! Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better! Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for 30% off your first order plus a FREE $60 gift! Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at piquelife.com/absolutely. It’s time you get the support that actually reflects your needs. Start your free intake at ForHers.com. Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/ABSOLUTELY or download the Acorns app to get started. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes the iconic CNN white house correspondent, Kaitlan Collins to the pod.  We get to hear all about flying on Air Force One, being in the press room, and of course her recent question and reaction she received from the President. They touch on the Epstein files, the presses’ relationship with Karoline Leavitt, and knowing which Truth social posts are actually coming from Trump. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.  Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from a wild weekend in St. Barths. She leaned in and was ready to go, but of course got bamboozled while partying. She chats about the island experience, what you need to know before you go and how you need to always ask for an itemized receipt. She takes a voicemail about Robins’ lives and chats about her new special taping that she cannot wait for this spring! Episode Sponsors: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/absolutely — and make sure you tell them we sent you. Go to Ro.co/absolutelynot to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro. Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better! Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/not10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase or use code NOT10 at checkout.  Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather checks in from an icy, chaotic winter weekend. She gets deep into mahjong, considers stepping away from TikTok, and reflects on the current political landscape—speaking honestly about the fear, frustration, and responsibility that come with it. Episode Sponsors: Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at piquelife.com/absolutely. Save 20% off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. For a better buzz without the booze, check out https://www.senoritadrinks.com/discount/HEATHER20 Must be 21+. Please enjoy responsibly. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather chats about nesting at home in Atlanta. She is out at the home goods, eating mushrooms she finds at Home Goods, and wearing cozy sweaters. She reminisces about jam band concerts, ahead of the summer concerts she is excited to go to and also the possibility of a Spice Girls reunion. She dissects voicemails about St. Barth's STD’s, age gap relationships, chronically late friends and this generation's Juicy Campus. Episode Sponsors: Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. If you’re curious about swapping tequila for THC, this is your sign. Señorita makes it easy. It gives the perfect social lift without any of the next day “why did I do that” disappointment. Plus, they’re fast-onset and come in 5 or 10mg. With low calories and real ingredients, truly, THC never tasted so good. You can get these margs shipped right to your door at SenoritaDrinks.com. Treat yourself, treat your friends, treat your tastebuds. Your cabana awaits. Must be 21+. Please enjoy responsibly. Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi—soda’s back, but so much better! For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program. Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely. Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/absolutely. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/ABSOLUTELY or download the Acorns app to get started. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is on the “becoming Chinese” side of tik-tok, where she is being motivated to eat something warm in the morning and work out ( like everyone else at the year).  She chats about the Ole Miss loss, why she isn’t at the Golden Globes and her healing titty wound.  Voicemails from you guys get her yapping about pasta, the gym and sorority spring recruitment. Episode Sponsors: Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save $15 off your first month’s subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and is only available to U.S. customers for a limited time. Plus FREE shipping on every order. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Become a Fora Advisor today at foratravel.com/ABSOLUTELY — and make sure you tell them we sent you. Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better! Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase or use code NOT10 at checkout. Caraway. Non-Toxic cookware made modern. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes 2026 with a fresh calendar and a fresh injury—  her burnt titty. She celebrates the highs of Ole Miss making a national run and the lows of credit card points betraying her Japan plans. She then dives into your voicemails full of fresh starts, fiery horses, and big “new year, same bitch” energy. Episode Sponsors: Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. If you’re curious about swapping tequila for THC, this is your sign. Señorita makes it easy. It gives the perfect social lift without any of the next day “why did I do that” disappointment. Plus, they’re fast-onset and come in 5 or 10mg. With low calories and real ingredients, truly, THC never tasted so good. You can get these margs shipped right to your door at SenoritaDrinks.com. Treat yourself, treat your friends, treat your tastebuds. Your cabana awaits. Must be 21+. Please enjoy responsibly. Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi—soda’s back, but so much better! BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely. Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is ringing in the New Year with her favorite people, YOU! 2025 has been a series of ups and downs, but as we all know we can attribute this to not finishing the Vision Board last year.  Heather is giving the best practices for you all to make your own vision board for 2026.  She also goes through what everyone chimed in with what their 2026 goals are.  Episode Sponsors: Give Big. Save Big. Shop for everyone on your list at Nordstrom Rack stores now. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Go to RO.CO/ABSOLUTELYNOT for your free insurance check. See if your insurance covers GLP-1s — for free. Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode from the Christmas of 2022, Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows as well as doomsday prep for 2023. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was. It is too touchy of a subject and they will push onto their therapists 10 years down the road. Episode Sponsors: Give Big. Save Big. Shop for everyone on your list at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering ABSOLUTELY listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY. Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Save big during their Winter Savings event – SCHEDULE YOUR FREE CONSULTATION NOW AT SONOBELLO.com/ABSOLUTELY. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people. She then chats about the Bamboozled Tour. Episode Sponsors: Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Give the gift of confidence this holiday season with Nutrafol. Whether you’re treating yourself for someone on your list, visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps on giving. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design with his 6th grade bedroom, how to make sure you get the best antiques from your aging relatives, and how to work an estate sale. They take on the voicemails about holiday etiquette and gift giving. Episode Sponsors: Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. The holidays are closer than ever, so make sure you order by December 16th to get their gift (or yours) underneath the tree in time! Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Non-Toxic cookware made modern. For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.com. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's better to have a bird in the hand or two in a bush. They also connect on their love of Lucille Ball. You can catch Atsuko on tour as well as her new Hulu special, Father. Episode Sponsors: Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsuranc.com/absolutely. This is a Paid Advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or UnitedStates Fire Insurance Company, and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency, Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger — or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/absolutely, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Goodwipes —because butts deserve better. Get yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all - the gift of clean with Branch Basics! For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and Free Shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. Get Branch Basics this Holiday Season, because cleanliness matters. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive! Episode Sponsors: Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. and if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.com Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/absolutely with code absolutely. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order at https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane Kiffin conspiracies of Gators, LSU and Theo Von. She takes on the voicemails from people seeking gay bar advice, an unlikely cease and desist, and what it’s like to have your life flash before your eyes. Episode Sponsors: Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase.  Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.  Treat yourself or someone special to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth this holiday season. Save 20% off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription. For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and Free Shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life with some sort of stomach bug in Austin. Heather also has a HUGE family announcement that is causing anxiety but all the excitement. She takes voicemails from Ole Miss tailgaters, Trader Joe’s virgins as well as a show-goer who needed medical attention. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot. For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Go to JoinBLVD.com to learn more. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Midland Moms drunk on Mountain Dew Margaritas. We also get a Texas Tony update! She takes voicemails from an unlikely DUI charge, doulas dilemmas, debates about starting a travel show. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order at https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcast Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather and Raymond welcome Dog the Bounty Hunter and his late wife, Beth to the pod. They threw together their costumes in 20 minutes to make for a ridiculous take on these two TLC legends. The chat about their favorite movie theatre snacks and how they will never be as put together as Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner. They take a voicemail about a very controversial type of baptism. Episode Sponsors: You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your subscription.  Get started free, plus get 20% off your first 6 months at Quo.com/ABSOLUTELY. Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the madness of a piping hot Starbucks to the lap, and goes through some of the most chaotic voicemails. If you’re new here, buckle up. If you’re an OG, you already know this one is a classic. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Visit join joinBLVD.com to learn more about Boulevard and book a demo to see if it’s right for your business. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after the UNWELL weekend in Vegas . She had two insane shows in Florida, flew Breeze nonstop to the Cosmo, and then hung out with Alex Cooper and every housewife you can imagine. While God is good, someone is testing her or has put on a voodoo hex.  Rigs is back in the VET ER, Macaroni maybe has a UTI and the rest of our pets heads are falling off.  We get voicemails from someone that's newly engaged and someone that is debating about dumping their boo over their shower routine. Episode Sponsors: Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot. Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Head to BranchBasics.com to shop the Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com. For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/ABSOLUTELY with code ABSOLUTELY. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is fired up about the new Taylor Swift album, seeing Tate McRae in concert and all things that make being a girl the best. She chats about her amazing show in Seattle followed by a humbling flight home. She takes voicemails from other TSwift lovers, bad ass women driving themselves to their own delivery and who pilates is really made for. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. This World Mental Health Day, we’re celebrating the therapists who’ve helped millions of people take a step forward. If you’re ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. My listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY. Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCA Mixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from the Ryder Cup with a few things to say. Episode Sponsors: To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Visit JoinBlvd.com to learn more. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot. Find Stouffer's in the freezer aisle today. CAKES body covers have become a staple in my wardrobe this fall. To try them for yourself, go to cakesbody.com. You can even use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is excited for the week ahead at the Ryder Cup. She is headed up to New York to host a party at the 1st tee and needs all the single girlies to come through. She also cannot wait for you to see her in the custom Ralph Lauren fits. She chats about upcoming shows- have you gotten your tickets yet?! She takes voicemails from listeners with viral video trolls, Turo rental car woes, and magnesium intake. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Use Coupon Code ABSOLUTELY for a $10 telemed Appointment at Addyi.com Head to BranchBasics.com to shop the Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com. Find Stouffer’s in the freezer aisle today. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after hosting the EMMY’s Live from the Red Carpet for E! She chats about how hot this carpet was, the celebs and friends that she saw, and what after parties she got to hit. She dreams about her future in television and how she would crush Dancing with the Stars. We have voicemails from yacht sellers, girls with jealous SIL and a girl that finds herself in an episode of The Hunting Wives.  Episode Sponsors: Go toSquarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $190 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. For Absolutely Not listeners, Cure is offering 20% off your first order! Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com/ABSOLUTELY and using promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Over 1.5 million people are already giving their livers the support they deserve. Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order. Find Stouffer’s in the freezer aisle today. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is coming to you from her hotel room in LA.  She chats about her shows this past weekend in Omaha and Denver as well as the exciting week ahead where she will be back working with E! on the EMMY’s red carpet. She dives into your voicemails from fans in the front row, to buying an international home and whether your nail lady has your back. Episode Sponsors: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. When you enroll in an ASPCA Pet Health Insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you’re doing something great for your pet. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. See thicker, stronger, faster-growing hair with less shedding in just 3-6 months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrafol.com/absolutelynot. For a limited time, you can be first in line to experience the new Next Gen at special savings. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in Atlanta and gearing up for a couple of wild upcoming weeks. She chats about the stresses of still living with Robin and solutions like joining a dojo or becoming a kickboxer. Decision fatigue has fully set in.  She takes your voicemails about psychotic husband behavior, how to be a good neighbor, southern pronunciations, what the heck is happening with Sacramento show as well as the Unwell weekend. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Absolutely not going to let your liver down anymore? Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order of LiverMD. To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com. You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Trust me, you need some GOODLES mac & cheese in your life! Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Shop SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS LA Flagship on Sunset Blvd. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after getting back on the road with The Bamboozled Tour in Memphis and Charlotte.  The Showgirl is back on the road and another showgirl is engaged! She chats about what went down in each city and goes down sorority rush memory lane.  We get back to the voicemails where she takes on another type of wedding proposal, airline chicken etiquette and if too much baby oil is a thing. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout to take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. Don't be the friend who's always complaining about feeling like garbage—do something about it with LiverMD! Head to 1MD.org and use code [ABSOLUTELY] for 15% off your first order. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Ready to clean up your home and your health? Head to BranchBasics.com to shop their Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com. Addyi is the number one prescribed treatment, it’s helped thousands of women. Put your lip gloss on. A little self tan. And look into Addyi at addyi.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcomes her fabulous friend, Retta to the pod! Retta and Heather met at a friend's birthday in Mexico and connected over margaritas and steak. They chat about auditions, how Glen Powell smells, and what’s a must have in her dressing room. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Go toSquarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Treat yourself to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth and save 20% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, we’re reminiscing tales from Heather’s last tour ahead of some stops in Tennessee and Texas. In this replay episode, she breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in at the Memphis airport. She also ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more! Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. For a limited time, you can be first in line to experience the new Next Gen at special savings. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program at ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after her annual European summer vacay.  She has weeded through her tik-tok trolls only to realize she has come out ahead as America’s Unc. She relives her boat days, her Air France journey home, and her back to school shopping memories. She takes voicemails from girls on a best friend trip to Italy, gift giving and golf bag woes, and why she is going to Iowa. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. You can shop Caraway Risk-Free! Enjoy fast, free shipping, easy returns, and a 30-day trial. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is recording straight from a pool house in Mallorca—armed with nothing but her phone, a questionable Wi-Fi signal, and enough acid reflux to ignite a small fire. She’s giving us a mid-vacation dispatch packed with thoughts on travel etiquette, her ongoing battle with GLP-1, and a passionate tribute to the unsung pop legacy of Brooke Hogan. Plus, a quick tour update and a reminder that boat days are the best days. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this replay of the pod from almost exactly 3 years ago, we get Heather fresh off her extra long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed and wildly in love- she is lucky to not be in an italian jail cell after clearly spending too much time with her new husband, Jeff. She breaks down the importance of communication, how much wine she drank every day at lunch and her plans to do it all over again (which she currently is doing in Portugal). Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to CornbreadHemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely. Give your summer closet an upgrade—with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and 365-day returns. To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com. You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes the one and only Robin McMahan to the studio. Robin is back from Portugal with a group of fabulous older women and bestows some advice before Heather's trip. They discuss the infamous EGG HAT, European Zara’s and the price of seabass. They obviously go into Robin’s dating dilemmas. They take your voicemails about boomers, summers at Chateau McMahan and the amount of virgin piña coladas Heather used to drink. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com. You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcoming her favorite bitch, Jackie Schimmel, who is about to head out on her own tour- Dim the Lights. They discuss how we all need to zoom out, berating each other's husbands, and social boundaries. Jackie takes Heather down on her unsolicited kindness to strangers while Heather then gets to the bottom of why Jackie didn’t join us on the cruise.  Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully). Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/absolutely. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.  Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is on the up and up after the events of the last few weeks. She chats about how turtles and cardinals are now showing up as signs, what it was like 100 years ago, and how she plans to spend her time in Europe. While her life may be hectic right now, she turns to your voicemails to bring her back to reality. She hears about Louisiana gay uncles, how comfortable people have gotten in public and totally unhinged church facebook group requests. Episode Sponsors: Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.com for more information. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off of your first 6 months at OpenPhone.com/absolutely. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to CornbreadHemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a very stressful and eventful week. Definitely feels like she can't get her neck above water and brings you along her insane days. She relives her experience at the emergency vet that could rival The Pitt, getting her pap on her anniversary, and receiving a very special gift that may be light at the end of a very long tunnel. She then takes voicemails about how the rest of the world is also on on fire and one caller's decision to move to the USA. Episode Sponsors: Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. To find out what all the hype is about for yourself, go to cakesbody.com. You can even use code ABSOLUTEY for 20% off your first order this summer. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Right now, Splendid is offering our listeners 20% off when you go to Splendid.com and use promo code absolutely at checkout or when you shop at Splendid in stores. Head to BranchBasics.com to shop their Premium Starter Kit and save 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, we're pulling another classic episode out of the archives for the newcomers. This one features one of the wildest voicemails we've heard yet, a mom having to break the holy water out for her daughter, and a surprise cameo from Robin. Episode Sponsors: Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to cokeurl.com/simplyPOP to find out where you can try Simply Pop! Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to SkylightCal.com/ABSOLUTELY To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes her friend from the internet Tinx to the pod after they both separately went to Beyonce the night before! They question why they have never met up for a 3 martini lunch and why finance bros get to enjoy them all the time. They connect on being pulled in too many directions and how they should start the Artist Way this summer. With an overdue book proposal, Heather asks Tinx about her book writing process after her new bestseller- Hotter in the Hamptons. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners an exclusive chance to be among the first to try Next Gen—with 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program at ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY! Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On the episode, Heather is fresh off her NYC takeover—including a memorable night at The Beacon. Now she’s back in her basement, recording old-school style and fighting off whatever funk the universe sent as a reminder to sit down and reset. She’s booking check-ups, trying new beauty hacks, and figuring out what’s going on with her wonky wrist. Plus, she shares her run-in with cosmetic consultation scammers, the betrayal of high-calorie coffee orders, and why she’s dreaming of climbing Mount Everest. (Spoiler: she's not.) Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/ABSOLUTELY. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in NYC and welcomes two cruising hussies to the pod. Andrea and Anna are hosts of their own pod Big Wigs but are famously known for their impressions.  They chat about how they met, the cruise, their favorite Boar’s Head meats, and being related to a serial killer. We also get a surprise appearance from two of their favorite Calabasas characters. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Give the “dads” in your life a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth! Right now, save $10 during their Father’s Day sale when you go to Storyworth.com/absolutely! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Kelsey Cook to the podcast studio. Kelsey is another fabulous comic that is on tour and has released her new special, Mark Your Territory. They connect on never being to Coachella, the similarities of boomers and millennials, survival jobs and where they stand on Crumbl cookies. Kelsey also finds out that she is actually another race because she is a red head. Episode Sponsors: Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. That’s like getting a month for free! Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspod Visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Schedule your free consultation now at Sonobello.com/absolutely. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in the studio after a big weekend performing at her home theatre - The Fox. She chats about how doing a show at home can be more stressful than any other cities and how the acquaintances come out of the woodwork to get those free tickets. She tries to relax on Sunday by putting out all her lawn furniture for the summer but the heat index had other plans. She is excited to get to NYC for her show at the Beacon and her week in the city. She gets to take some voicemail about the after party, a lost photo and a hot take on recording comedians. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Save 20% Off Honeylove at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to SkylightCal.com/ABSOLUTELY Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On the episode, Heather is feeling nautical (and musical) in a fully bedazzled ship captain’s hat. She has some hot takes on the newly appointed American pope and shares some of the gifts she received on the cruise. She dives into Robin’s controversial stance on why dining out on Mother’s Day is an absolute no and then provides advice to your voicemails about breakups, cocktails, and short skirts. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners an exclusive chance to be among the first to try Next Gen—with 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program at ProlonLife.com/absolutely.  Shop SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at SKIMS.com. Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip. It’s available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On the episode, Heather is home for a few days and back in the Atlanta studio.  She has been enjoying her few days at home, before it’s back on the road. She goes over how Robin’s trip to Portugal has been going and how her own show in Chicago went. She takes on the voicemails to find probably the #1 absolutely not of all time.  Can this be the one? Episode Sponsors: AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer! This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is taking it old school and recording live from a hotel room in Miami. No, she isn’t still on the cruise, she is back to working girl life as a corporate girlie. She gives the cruise recap from her perspective and how emotional it made it. She also chats about another milestone-reaching 1 million miles on Delta. She wraps it up with more cruise voicemails from cruisers themselves. Episode Sponsors: Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer! Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System!  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this truly iconic episode, Heather is coming to you live from the Absolutely Knot cruise.  She has a live audience on the deck and two guests to bring you all the on board updates and of course, Absolutely Not’s.  If you have all the fomo, you will not want to miss this one. Episode Sponsors: Our favorite cookware set will save you $150 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Whether you're gifting to yourself or a loved one, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Shop SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS LA Flagship on Sunset Blvd. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Right now, our listeners get 15% off the Premium Starter Kit by using code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is physically on the cruise, but has brought you a Master’s recap prior to boarding the ship.  She chats about her time at the Par 3, trying to be everyone else’s photographer, and of course the coveted merch haul. She also has a message for the millennial white women's fashion choices. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Just visit ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Save 20% Off Honeylove at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back with Rosebud Baker for a light pregame just in time for The Absolutely Knot Cruise. Rosebud chats about her relationship, becoming a mom, and taking her comedy in a new direction this time around on tour. They also drop some piping hot takes on the Real Housewives and give the scoop on their upcoming cruise shenanigans. It's been a long road and the ladies are at Brat Status - as they should be! Episode Sponsors: Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at major grocery stores and retailers. Absolutely Not is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first month. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a great show in Raleigh and then being a guest on Adam Ray’s Dr. Phil Live in Atlanta. Like everyone else, she has been attacked by the insane pollen that is plaguing the south, but she is rejoicing with some amazing news she received this past week!  She gets back to the voicemails from all of you! Episode Sponsors: Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutely. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any 6 styles, but right now you can get $28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with the code ABSOLUTELY at Nuuly.com Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Boho Britt and Amber from Salty Locks Extensions and Studio 285. Heather believes that being close to your glam team is one of the most important things you can cultivate and these two sisters have truly become part of the family. They chat about a ChatGPT boyfriend, catchphrases and even quantum physics. They are two business baddies that will also be joining the crew on the Absolutely Knot. Episode Sponsors: Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Head to http://primalkitchen.com/absolutelynotpodcast to save 20% off your next online order with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Save big during their Winter Savings event – Schedule your free consultation now at SonoBello.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a fantastic weekend of birthday shows in the DMV. She had a hell of a time celebrating her 38th with the shows at Capitol One Hall and partying with her friends there. She makes a plea for Tatte to come to Atlanta. She discusses how the vibes are in DC and explains who her new favorite southern auntie Doctor is. She takes your voicemails about burnt grundles, solo dates, and how the Heather 911 is sometimes a force for good! Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com.  Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta and taking some time for herself after having a small breakdown on International Women's Day. She is changing her attitude and putting positive energy towards her goals. She recaps the end of her week at the Today Show and the hard sleep on her flight to LA that has caused her to spiral.  She takes on the voicemails and provides her best advice on how to VIBE OUT on the Bamboozled Tour and the Absolutely Knot Cruise. Episode Sponsors: Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. To help you kickstart a health plan that truly works, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program at ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. That’s like getting a month for free! Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in the NYC studio with comedian Sam Morril. Sam is currently touring the US with his own “Errors Tour”. Heather and Sam get into life on the road as touring comics. Sam has chosen to ride on a sleeper bus and eat halal, but just like Heather has back issues and also loves a steakhouse and a martini. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to CornbreadHemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/ABSOLUTELY. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/absolutely today. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in NYC to co-host the Today Show and so excited to give you a behind the scenes look into the start of her week with Jenna Bush Hager. We find out who her work crush is at the studio and how she took Jenna out on the town to a gay country bar. She also touches on the previous week in Iowa where there was a missed connection or a case of mistaken identity at a Walgreens full of Cookie Monster pajamas. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely. Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. Try VIIA! https://viia.co/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in Vegas for The Bamboozled Tour and is coming to you live from her hotel room at the Venetian.  She also welcomes her writing partner and special director, Jen Zaborowski, to the pod.  They chat about Jen coming out on the road and how a tour stop in Vegas just hits different. They discuss barrel vs boot cut jeans, Glen Powell, Hollywood parties and who will be vacay besties on the Absolutely Knot cruise. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma.co/ABSOLUTELY. Right now, our listeners get 15% off the Premium Starter Kit by using code ABSOLUTELY at BranchBasics.com If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at Lumedeodorant.com! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after an amazing time in Alabama opening up the Bamboozled Tour. She chats about the amazing audience members and how some of her controversial material played on the crowds.  She brings up all of the Super Bowl drama and how we need to leave Taylor alone.  She gets to voicemails and realizes we are all doing too much!! Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely. Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/ABSOLUTELY Save big during their Winter Savings event - schedule your free consultation now at Sonobello.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back on her power walks and trying to get her mornings off to a great start.  She has her weighted vest on and is pumping up tunes from this year's Grammy winners.  She was motivated by online haters on Reddit that caused her to spiral. She is excited to get back on the road and start trying out new bits which she got to test out on a secret group of corporate girlies this past week. She got a few days to sip on painkillers, listen to some steel drums and reminisce about the life of Jimmy Buffett.  She takes on the voicemails of yes’s and no’s. Episode Sponsors: Right now, Not listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com and use code at checkout. AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to get this offer!  This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely. To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma.com/absolutely.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather was excited to share her vision board but mishaps with some vino leads her to verbalize it. We learn about her hopes and dreams for the upcoming year, as well as a traumatizing past job opportunity that has left a mark on how she navigates life. She goes over the newest activities happening on the Absolutely Knot cruise and gives hints as to what will happen on the Bamboozled Tour. She then takes on your voicemails! Episode Sponsors: Start earning points with the Bilt Mastercard by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely. Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90 day bottle. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. If you’re 21+, check out viiahemp.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY to receive 15% off AND if you’re new to VIIA - get a free gift of your choice.  Right now, our listeners get 15% off their entire order by using code at BranchBasics.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather chats about her amazing time in Maui and how she got to spend some quality time with her hubby.  She does have some bones to pick with his fashion and beach day choices while on vacation.  She is also excited to get back on the road soon with her new tour as well as the cruise. She shows off how well her new neck is healing and takes on some haters in the DM’s.  She finally gets back to voicemails from you and reflects on how good of a Real Housewife she would be. Episode Sponsors: Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely.  Shop SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather recaps her experience in LA during the start of the wildfires. She shares harrowing tales from friends who lost so much and remembers that even during this time of chaos we can find moments of joy and heroism.  Please join Heather and find ways to support those affected by the fires such as BStrong Foundation, World Central Kitchen, and the Love and Ethos Foundation. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely. Start earning points with the Bilt Mastercard by going to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!  Visit JustThriveHealth.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first 90-day bottle. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in the LA studio for the new year with her two best buds Raymond Padilla and Tina Tompkins. They talk about the Golden Globes, the holidays and something the Santa brought her. Episode Sponsors: If you want to give Cornbread a try, they're offering ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners 30% off your first order. Just visit cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/absolutely  Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first month. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, we welcome the New Year, as well as new followers to the pod but introducing them to one of the highest rated as well as most talked about episodes of the entire pod.  Ovaries on a Plane details Heathers harrowing experience on a flight to London where she has an ovarian cist rupture. Episode Sponsors: Turn up the luxury when you turn in with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absonot to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely. I’ve got you a special 20% off your order and free shipping for the holidays. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.com/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Listeners of Absolutely Not can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at “www.YNAB.com/absolutely.” Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is coming to you from the studio for the Christmas Day episode! She works through her own trauma of her childhood to figure out why she is not the best premeditated gift giver. We have a lot of callers giving the holiday absolutely not’s and yes’s that all of y'all have brought to the hotline. She gives her hot take on a caller's distaste for the family's nativity retelling, how much you should spend on family gifts and what to purchase for your family members, plus everyone's favorite discussion about  in-law relationships. Episode Sponsors: I’ve got you a special 25% off your order and free shipping for the holidays. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.COM/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Right now, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program at ProlonLife.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes feminine icon Sara Blakely to the studio.  Sara is a fellow Atlanta girl who started Spanx and now has introduced Sneex to our tired ass feet. Heather has finally met a fellow manifester in Sara and they chat about the power that can have in your life. With her Spanx money, Sara chats about her first big purchase after hawking women’s undergarments for 10 hours on the department store floor.  Also being a Breadwinner, she also goes into her relationship with her husband and what it was like telling him she made more money than him. Episode Sponsors: AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order. Leesa is offering 25% OFF all mattress orders and TWO FREE Pillows for our listeners at Leesa.com For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it!  Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Logan Crosby back to the podcast.  They chat about their holiday traditions, how road life has been treating him, and their favorite grocery stores.  They also go over what is on his vision board for the next year. Logan is one of the unreal talents that will be joining the crew on the Absolutely Knot Cruise. He will be bringing the hits, his band as well as his love of cougars to the high seas.  Don’t forget to stream his new album, 2019. Episode Sponsors: For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop-for person this season at saks.com.  Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT. Shop SKIMS Holiday Shop at SKIMS.com. Available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets!  Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow ATLien Kelly Stafford to the pod.  Kelly and Heather grew up together 8 doors down, went to rival high schools and swap stories of their youth. She also shares her life story from dating quarterback Matthew Stafford at University of Georgia, having all girls, and an unexpected brain tumor that left her unable to walk. They chat about football and their thoughts on grown men wearing jerseys. Episode Sponsors: Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop-for person this season at saks.com. Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout on lolavie.com . Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save up to 20% off sitewide at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. Use the code ABSOLUTELY on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

And we are back with more of your thoughts and questions about Thanksgiving.  Heather gives some advice on a gals first time at their boyfriend’s family home, turkey allergies, stuffing and death. Is it a 911 family emergency situation? Let’s all write down a gratitude list and remember to take a deep breath and eat some pie! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t free. Go to Quince.com/absonot to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Get twenty dollars off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com/ABSOLUTELY. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Produced by DearMedia See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather takes on your absolutely unhinged Thanksgiving themed voicemails and hot takes from the DMs. Heather gets into her thoughts on food, family and attire that you have brought to her.  She has some questions for you all as well! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Shop SKIMS Holiday Shop at SKIMS.com. Available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets! Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t free. Go to LEESA.com today to claim your exclusive discount! Leesa is offering 30% OFF all mattress orders and TWO FREE Pillows for our listeners! Get 15% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Produced by Dearmedia See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes the funniest gal in the south, Danae Hays. Heather has come in with some honorary cheetah print overalls and is ready to chit chat about life. They yap about being two outspoken southern gals, connecting over family trauma, and what has happened since her divorce. They also break down how bitterness can sneak up when the social media trolls get under your skin. Episode Sponsors: Every week of November, AG1 will be running a special Black Friday oer for a free gift with your first subscription, in addition to the Welcome Kit with Vitamin D3+K2. So make sure to check out DrinkAG1.com/absolutely to see what gift you can get this week!  Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTGIFT.  Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. Use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off Minted holiday cards and gifts. As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at lolavie.com. I’ve got you a special 30% off your order and free shipping in the US for BLACK FRIDAY.. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.com/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather starts off the episode with the exciting news of her new show, The Bamboozled Tour! She discusses the origin of the word and how it became one of her favorites to use.  She chats about her weekend in Oxford and seeing the Ole Miss win. She also got bamboozled with tickets from a Georgia fan who she thought was a friend.  She takes your voicemails about her potential as a president, the status of our voicemail callers, and what party favors moms are buying these days are not so different from what Robin did when Heather was growing up. Episode Sponsors: Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Get yourself the gift of comfort. Plus, for November only, Honeylove is giving up to 50% off sitewide. Visit Honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY to shop their sale and let them know we sent you when the survey asks. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. Use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off Minted holiday cards and gifts.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from the Breeders Cup. She brought Jeff and Robin across the country for a quick trip to where the surf meets the turf. She even sacrifices her first class upgrade so Robin could really be spoiled. She is super excited for the upcoming Ole Miss vs. Georgia game, but has a little anxiety for the upcoming election. She hopes everyone exercised their right to vote. She takes your voicemails where she is receives some praise, as well as some that get her riled up about brunch, outfit choices at work and big girl budgeting. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. Use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off Minted holiday cards and gifts. Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t free. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Get 15% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to join bilt.com/absolutely.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode, Heather welcome Laura Rutledge to the pod. Laura is coming to us from ESPN’s campus in Bristol, CT and chats with Heather about how she can be found on the sidelines of the NFL, SEC as well as the Masters. Heather gets some tips and tricks for interviewing on the red carpet while they discuss the trials of being a lady in the biz. They are manifesting a reunion at the Ole Miss vs Georgia game in the grove and what they would serve at the tailgate. Episode Sponsors: Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t-free. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. My followers will get 15% off their first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at oakessentials.com join the Naked Wines community and head to NakedWines.com/absolutely for 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping. For a limited time only, head to BranchBasics.com/ABSOLUTELY and use Code ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your entire order.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On the episode, Heather is in the studio for Halloween and brings along one of our favorite guests. ROBIN! In this iconic Halloween episode, Heather dons her best Robin costume and lets everyone know how life really is like living with her daughter. She is so excited to be in charge of the pod and take voicemails from all of her fans. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com. Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Look out for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t-free. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard-to-shop-for person this season at saks.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back at the studio Atlanta after an exhilarating weekend in New York City on her press tour for Breadwinner. She reflects on her hard work and schlepping through the mean streets. She chats how she is piling more on in Q4 before every one goes on their holiday vacation for 3 weeks in Cabo starting on Thanksgiving. She takes the voicemails of you gals going through new changes in life, but also through it with dating. And ponders if the baby deer she sees on her walks a bad or good sign. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code at checkout at lolavie.com. Go to Leesa.com today to claim your exclusive discount! Leesa is offering 20% OFF all mattress orders and TWO FREE Pillows for our listeners!  Look for our black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t-free. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is NYC and welcomes Briley King to the podcast. Briley is the wife of the iconic musician Marcus King, but is a boss bitch entrepreneur in her own right. She is the center of Little Bird Trucking hats, but aso has the voice of an angel. They get into Briley's life as a daughter of a truck driver and how that has former her life and why the online trolls think she is the biggest gold digger. Episode Sponsors: Visit Carawayhome.com/absolutely to see all of our favorite products AND take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.com. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, the marathon continues as Heather is doing all the things from hanging out with Reese Witherspoon to a surprise pop up at the Call Her Daddy live show. It was a weekend full of fearless women doing the most. She gets into the reactions from Kamala Harris sitting down with Alex Cooper after her, an 8-year old girl who stole her mom's Rogue for a Target run, and elects 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryin' as her campaign theme music after hitting the voicemails. This episode is dedicated to Crystal, an inspiration and absolute badass. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Look for our black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more about how we're keeping it b******t-free. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System!  Get 15% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code ABSOLUTELY15. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode, Heather is back in LA and kicking the press tour off with an attitude of gratitude for all of the love on the announcement this week. She falls into the rabbit hole with her producer as they discuss theories around the Diddy Freak-Offs, who they’re hoping wasn’t there, and make it clear that Heather was NEVER invited. Then, she hits the Absolutely Not Line to give you your second dose of much-needed sage advice for the week. Episode Sponsors: Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/absolutely. Go to Ro.co/ABSOLUTELY. Memberships start at $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. My followers will get 15% off their first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at oakessentials.com. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is so excited to finally announce the release of her special, Breadwinner, coming to Hulu on October 11.  Heather is also spilling the tea from the carpet of the Peoples Choice Country Awards. She sticks around in Nashville to see a Logan Crosby show and then work out new material at one of her favorite comedy club, Zanies in Nashville. Sends her love to all of those affected by Hurricane Helene and gives some advice she found on TikTok. Episode Sponsors: Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com. Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.com. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY to see all of our favorite products AND take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.  Head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and put in my code ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password for 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is home in Atlanta. She chats about her time on the Emmy’s red carpet now that she is a veteran host for E! All the celebs, all the parties. She also announces another fun red carpet that she will be on this week. She also talks about her unreal time at the Falcons game this past weekend. No Taylor sightings but she gets to sit among Atlanta royalty. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY.  Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.com Go to Ro.com/ABSOLUTELY. Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is joined by the amazing Iliza Shlesinger. Iliza starts by sharing some sage advice on being a new mom on the grind, trusting your gut and how sometimes you “just f***ing do it”. Then, they get into everything from what NOT to say (or do) when you meet your favorite comedian at a show to the lore behind our the iconic, “Tiramisu bitch!”. And it’s only right they top it off by tag teaming the Absolutely Not-Line to solve some of the funniest voicemails we’ve heard yet. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home!  Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY.  Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Doll 10 Beauty is offering 20% off your order. Visit www.doll10.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the pod! They chat about how they met and came up in comedy, Becky’s dating life, preventative body scans and her love of nicotine packs. Becky will be one of the fabulous comedians on the Absolutely Knot Cruise. They chat how insane it will be and what you will need to prepare to be t**s out on deck.  Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. You can go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for free shipping. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home!  Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather chats about her wild weekend in Oxford. She was back on stage slinging jokes as well as back in The Grove, celebrating an Ole Miss win. It was a very full week filled with a lot of memories, friends and drinks at the greatest bar in American, The Library. She responds to her voicemails that range from chair choices to wedding choices. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.  Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Doll 10 Beauty is offering 20% off your order. Visit www.doll10.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.  Get the Rakuten app NOW and join the 17 million members who are already saving! Cash Back rates change daily, see Rakuten.com for details. Find your new uniform at jennikayne.com. Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout.  Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this wild bonus episode, Heather has Steph Tolev in the ATL studio. Steph and Heather chat what it feels like to be a woman in comedy, what the trolls say in the DMs and their favorite (and not so favorite) celebrity encounters. Heather is extra excited to have her on the pod because you *might* be seeing this extremely funny friend on a certain upcoming floating vessel!  Sponsors: Get 15% off your first order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at jennikayne.com Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your next purchase. Go to Ro.com/absolutely. Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather chats about the brain fog and ADHD that she has been tackling. After much debating, she doesn’t take a loose Adderall, but using some other tricks she learned from book she bought off TikTok shop. She talks about high school reunions and how excited she is to be back on stage at Ole Miss this week. The voicemails come in about ex’s, how we need to celebrate other women winning and her family’s dead animals.  Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Shop the SKIMS Soft Lounge Collection at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab Goodwipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores! Just head to the toilet paper aisle and look for the bright aqua, rose, and emerald packages. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home!  Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Doll 10 Beauty is offering 20% off your order. Visit www.doll10.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from London with her Era’s tour recap as well as a new conspiracy theory about pharmacies in the UK airports. She chats about Taylor’s insane performance, her unforgettable fans as well as a run in with another HUGE celeb during lunch. Did she absolutely not herself with a Tik Tok she made? Everyone relax! She then takes voicemails from you all and gives her unhinged opinions. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.  Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO.  Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping! Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to JoinBilt.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather talks about the anxieties her next flight is bringing to the surface. We all remember Ovaries on a Plane, and Heather is back on the same VA flight but this time to see Taylor Swift in London. She has not received her seat assignment so fingers crossed she gets a different seat than the last time. She takes voicemails from listeners who have been locked up in Portugal and others who are getting messages from their ex’s dog’s instagram, but it is one question that strikes Heather and brings up fond memories of her Dad, and her queen Joan Rivers. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping! Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a few weeks away in New York and LA. After receiving some unexpected news, she is determined to take on the rest of the year as well as some voicemails from y’all!  Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Get the Rakuten app NOW and join the 17 million members who are already saving! Cash Back rates change daily, see Rakuten.com for details. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping! Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home!  Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you. You can go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for free shipping. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode, Heather has some special guests in the studio! Cody Rigsby (beloved Peloton instructor) and Andrew Chappelle (Broadway baby) have started their own podcast, Tactful Pettiness and they are here on Absolutely Not to chat with Heather about the rules of Fire Island, their rise in careers and, of course, how to be a petty yet respectful queen! Episode Sponsors: Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping and 365-day returns. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Pay rent hassle-free through the Bilt Rewards app. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/ABSOLUTELY. As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY15 at checkout at lolavie.com. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Saoirse-Monica Jackson to the pod! Heather geeks out on Saoirse rise to fame on Derry Girls and her upcoming limited series on Netflix, The Decameron.   Episode Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Shop the SKIMS Soft Lounge Collection at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "Absolutely Not" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.  Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely. Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home! Use our exclusive link to get 20% off - honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. After you purchase, they’ll ask you where you heard about them. Support our show and tell them we sent you.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather recounts recents events down here in Atlanta. She fleshes out a new business idea after Jeff took too long to smoke some ribs, gets disrupted by Robin due to a looming thunderstorm and texts the GA law lady for some drug intel after one of your voicemails leaves her with some questions.  Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.  Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO.  Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and to purchase Philadelphia Cream Cheese so you can start adding it to your recipes at home!  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather has a very special guest in the studio- her mom, Robin! After a weekend in Florida, Robin has come back with who she thinks is a new beau, but after a quick google search by Heather she realizes Robin may be the one that has been SCHAMMED. A great reminder to all of you with single parents to check that they too are not sending money to a prince in foreign country.  Episode Sponsors: If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab Goodwipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores!  Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.”  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.  Go to Quince.com for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. You can find LIPTON throughout the country in your local retailer. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Watch The Serpent Queen now, only on STARZ and the STARZ app. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On the second part of this weeks episode, Heather takes you from the oceanside to the Tuscan countryside. She hits up her favorite spots and even tries out some new places that you will be sure to add to your Italian vacation wish list. One caller also reveals an internet secret even Heather didn’t know about. Episode Sponsors: Watch My Lady Jane now on Prime Video. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for free shipping. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY  Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in the good ol’ US of A after an epic two-week trip to Italia. This will be a two part episode of everything she got into while on vacation. We start with week one, landing in Milan, visiting Lake Garda and then headed to Villa Yeppa to film some exciting things with her ATL Italians (and a few new characters). While she thrived living La Dolce Vita, the gastro issues started back up as soon as she sat down in Delta One.  Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at LumeDeodorant.com! Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping! Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Don’t miss the season premiere of The Serpent Queen, July 12th only on STARZ and the STARZ app. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode, Heather takes your questions all things Italy travel. Ever wonder what Heather’s travel itinerary is, what she packs in her bags, and if you should or should not buy the designer bags at a discount- then this episode is for you.  Episode Sponsors: Watch My Lady Jane Now on Prime Video. Visit Carawayhome.com/absolutely and get an additional 10% off your next purchase. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely  To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather goes in on JT’s recent encounter with the police in the Hamptons. She is in Italy at the moment, but answers voicemails about your traumatizing travel experiences including one of our best frienemies. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely Shop the SKIMS T-Shirt Shop at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Right now, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program. Go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping! Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather has an epiphany while listening to the new XCX album. It is a Brat Summer. She recaps her travels to the Belmont Stakes, to NYC and to Chicago. She thought he was going to be sitting at home, but summer is here and she is ready to travel. She takes on the voicemails and dishes out advice to the gals! Episode Sponsors: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com Right now, go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at lolavie.com. Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is fresh off her co-hosting gig with Hoda on the Today Show. She chats about her love for Hoda and her experience with the cast of Baby Reindeer. She gives some sage advice to some of the callers. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Two cups of Lipton Green Tea can help support health by providing approximately the same amount of flavonoids as eating 8 cups of raw kale. Try NEW LIPTON Green Tea. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and click ‘Enter Voucher’ in the top right and put in ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is so excited to tell you all how to rise and relax with her at sea on her cruise - Absolutely Knot! You know travel really gets her going, but she feels the shakedown coming from Italy. She also get s a voicemail from one of our favorite pod guests! Episode Sponsors: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO. Visit DelolaLife.com to by Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus you get FREE shipping. Buy your copy of this summer’s hottest cookbook, What’s Gaby Cooking: Grilling All the Things, here: https://bit.ly/WGCGrillingAllTheThings Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this BONUS episode of Absolutely Not, Heather talks how to deal with internet trolls, does another one of her viral “food rankings” and most importantly shares who she would bring on Family Feud with her if she ever went on! Episode Sponsors: Drinking 2 cups of Lipton Green tea daily is a great ally for wellness and a simple way to up your everyday healthy habits. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at LumeDeoderant.com. Head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and click 'Enter Voucher' in the top right and put in ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password to get 6 bottles of wine for just $39.99. Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your next purchase. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus. you get FREE shipping. Buy your copy of this summer's hottest cookbook, What's Gaby Cooking: Grilling All the Things, here: https://bit.ly/WGCGrillingAllTheThings Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after MDW. She enjoying her time at home entertaining her friends and their kids at her pool. The voicemails go in on graduations + thoughts on summer vacation.  Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at saks.com Need to find the perfect gift? Don't panic. Try Gift mode on Etsy now. Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com. Now available in 62 sizes (30A-46H). Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, heather chats about a best friend's wedding, conspiracy theories involving Boeing and the Royal Family as well as finding out sometimes your husband only listens to your advice when a man tells him. Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. As a loyal listener you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at LolaVie.com. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code absolutely for $5 off your first bottle. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week.  Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this all new episode, Heather is BACK home in Atlanta after two weeks in Los Angeles. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the finish line, yet feels hungry for more. She also answers some of the best Absolutely Not's and Yes's we've had to date! Episode Sponsors: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. SERVPRO can make any disaster like it never even happened. Contact your local SERVPRO today by visiting SERVPRO.com or call 1-800-SERVPRO. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this truly iconic episode, Heather sits down with the one and only Mandy Moore. After Heather manifested her coming to the previous LA show, we get in the studio to chat about life as a teen star and how she has never been hungover. What a dream! Mandy also gets to hear your voicemails. You do not want to miss this! Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at Saks.com. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. For a limited time you can try OneSkin for 15% off using the code ABSOLUTELY when you checkout at OneSkin.co Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week.  Drinking 2 cups of Lipton Green Tea daily is a great ally for wellness and a simple way to up your everyday healthy habits. Visit DelolaLife.com to buy Delola Cocktails now and use code ABSOLUTELY for $5 off your first bottle. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this BONUS episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by comedian, Joe Dombrowski, who immediately informs her that she is an icon to the gay community. They chat all things comedy, touring, fans sneaking into the green room and try to determine if Heather has a lazy eye or not. Episode Sponsors: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Indulge in affordable luxury! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. To get Naked Wines’ 6 bottle for $39.99 offer, head to NakedWines.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY for both the code AND password. If you visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELY you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get free shipping. Head over to AthenaClub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products and get 20% off your first purchase with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather in the studio in LA after her final shows of The Comeback Tour. She works out a lot of stress and takes some of it out on her callers. She apologizes, as she goes hard. Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at Saks.com. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com. Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather dives deep into her thoughts on the upcoming months, on her work load and closing out The Comeback Tour. She recaps the bachelorette weekend in Key West filled with crazy characters and key lime pies. She goes through the voicemails and hears an Absolutely Yes from one of her listeners.  Episode Sponsors: Find inspiration for your new vibe, every day, at Saks.com. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Need to find the perfect gift? Don't panic. Try Gift Mode on Etsy now. Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. Use the code “ABSOLUTELY” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is joined by the ultimate scammer, the pillar himself, Raymond Padilla. They are back from the Masters tournament and ready to chat about all their adventures in Augusta. Episode Sponsors: Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Control body odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY15 at LumeDeoderant.com Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Indulge in affordable luxury! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to Fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is finally back home in the ATL studio for a solo episode. Grateful for all of her previous guests, but also to just chit chat with y'all one on one. There is a lot that has happened over the last few weeks to go over, but she still has time for a few voicemails. Episode Sponsors: For inspiration for your new vive, every day, at saks.com. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Watch new episodes of Vanderpump Villa every Monday, now on Hulu! Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather brings another fan of wigs and characters, Zachariah Porter, to the pod. They discuss their previously lives in the hospitality industry, shoplifting and celebrity sex tapes. Episode Sponsors: Watch Vanderpump Villa, premiering April 1st, only on Hulu. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get free shipping. As a loyal listener, you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at lolavie.com. OneSkin is more than skin care. Get started today with 15% off using code ABSOLUTELY at oneskin.co. If you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at AG1.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode, Heather gets to chit chat with Connor about his journey from tik tok videos to starting his stand up tour.  Episode Sponsors: To explore coverage visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/ABSOLUTELY Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. Go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code ABSOLUTELY15 and in retailers nationwide. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeoderant.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Hannah Berner and Heather come together for hilarious takes on being gals in comedy, her new special taping and being high fashion girlies. They also go head to head about who has the best dead grandpa.  Episode Sponsors: Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. If you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at AG1.com/absolutely. Watch Vanderpump Villa, premiering April 1st, only on Hulu. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals. Terms apply. Fatty15 is on a mission to replenish your your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to Fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather has some very special guests in the studio. Connor and Tanner are both 25 year olds navigating love on the hit Netflix show, Love on the Spectrum. Heather also gets to have a very special chat with their moms, Lise and Nicci, about raising their kids and how life has changed post Netflix. Episode Sponsors: Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first purchase. As a loyal listener you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout at lolavie.com Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/ABSOLUTELY. Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeodorant.com. Go to Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is back from Hollywood’s biggest weekend and she is giving you ALL the insider info! From 4am glam wake up calls to eating In and Out at the Vanity Fair party, our girl has taken Hollywood by storm! She goes through the DM’s and answers all your burning red carpet questions! Episode Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely Need to find the perfect gift? Don't panic. Try Gift Mode on Etsy now! Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Use code "ABSOLUTELY15" for 15% off on Amazon and sip the future of soda! Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. This episode is /brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back from horse country with a small sinus infection. Our girl got knocked on her butt once the z pack takes a toll on her tum tum. Did the meds think she was getting scammed by a repeat medical biller? She makes it through and finds the strength to advise on your voicemails.  Indulge in affordable luxury! Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY #honeylovepod To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals. Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is back from Australia and fighting for her life to beat jet lag. She talks about her amazing adventures and the Aussie hotties but also how much she missed Robin. She ends the episode with two awesome voicemails you won’t want to miss. Episode Sponsors: Visit maidenform.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Try G1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND for a limited time you'll get 10 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutelynot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. Head to www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is live from Down Unda recording with a border collie at her feet as in Australia, dogs roam free. Heather talks about being a tourist in New Zealand from sight seeing to white wine for lunch. She also take your voicemails about your Aussie study abroad days, proves that digital cameras are back as well as shadowbans! Episode Sponsors: Get a taste of M. A hot new collection of craveable intimates from Maidenform, a brand with a whole lotta history. They’ve been around since the very first bras and now they’re bringing you a new kind of classic: the chicest basics you’ve ever seen. For more delicious details, check out Maidenform.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this special Vday episode, Heather chats about meeting Jeff all those years ago. From the early dating years to the proposal, it was never a dull moment. She also takes your special Absolutely Not Valentines Day voicemails. Episode Sponsors: Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND for a limited time you'll get 10 free AG1 Trvel Packs with your first purchase at drinkG1.com/absolutelynot Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. As a special off for listeners, new customers get 15% off ALL Lume products with our exclusive code and link - that's over 40% off their Starter Pack, too. Use code ABSOLUTELY5 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeoderant.com . Head over to AthenaClub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products and get 20% off your purchase with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals. Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather brings you on her wild ride from Vegas to the Grammys. From the truly bonkers characters in Vegas to her race to make the red carpet. Heather makes it just in time for her fabulous glam team to beat the face, throw on a gown and get mic’d up for music’s biggest night!  Episode Sponsors: Go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Go to BlueNile.com to find the perfect piece today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back on the road. Her first shows back in 2024 were in Florida, so you know the wild ones were OUT! She then travels to Mississippi to attend the first Absolutely Not Podcast wedding. That's right - a love match from the pod to one of her oldest friends from college. While visiting Ole Miss, she finds out the moms are the true fans! Episode Sponsors: Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use visit lolavie.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locastions. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. head to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, the Absolutely Not Podcast welcomes the iconic comedian Anjelah Johnson. Anj and Heather do a deep dive on her start in the business and her journey to becoming a mom. This of course happens all while touring as a standup comedian and holding everyone else down. Sounds like someone else we all know and love!  Episode Sponsors: Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code "ABSOLUTELY15" and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. SKIMS Bras are now available at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. Head to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get free shipping. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather recaps the first stop on her journey to the EGOT: the Emmys red carpet. She’s running you through what it took to be a journalist on one of the biggest nights in media, then hitting the DMs to answer your questions around what it was like to rub elbows with some of her favorite people in the industry. Episode Sponsors: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeoderant.com! #lumepod Watch The Trust: A Game of Greed, now streaming only on Netflix. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Truly Hard Seltzer Beverage Company. Boston, Massachusetts. Please Drink Responsibly. Experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile today, at Blue Nile. the original online jeweler. Go to BlueNile.com to find the perfect piece today. Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2024 vision board episode is here! Heather dives in on the goals for the year and lets you know the tips and tricks to a successful vision board manifestation. Get your magazines, inspirational quotes and glue stick ready, honey! She also has time for some voicemails where you all are doing the most! By the end of the episode you will be motivated and ready to bring that Gypsy Rose Energy to 2024.   Episode Sponsors: Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY” and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We are one earthquake and black swan event from the end, but 2024 is bringing new beginnings and an attitude of gratitude! On this episode, Heather dissects Jack Harlow lyrics, takes questions from instagram, and hears about your holiday through absolutely not voicemails. Episode Sponsors: Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTravel.com/ABSOLUTELY Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code“ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. rts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase ad drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy good at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is wrapping 2023 up with none other than the one and only Raymond Padilla. They’re giving you all of the roses, thorns, highs and the lows of what has been one of their wildest years yet. Episode Sponsors: Go to BEISTRAVEL.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/absolutely to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K@ and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: absolutely to get free shipping & 30% fff your first order. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is here to set the record straight before we finish up the holiday season. After reminding you who really gets sh*t done around here, she’s back on the hotline to address a grandpa accidentally sending porn to the whole family, a Diet Coke-shaming stewardess, and so much more. Episode Sponsors: Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of a Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is joined by the hilarious Rosebud Baker to talk comedy, SNL, balancing it all with being a new mom, and why it’s all worth it. They're here, they’re tired, and they're still doing the most. Episode Sponsors: Go to drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first month Right now, BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/ABSOLUTELY. Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order. Head to FactorMeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off. Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is crawling out of her deathbed and fighting through the tail-end of the flu to give you your weekly dose of unsolicited advice and remind you that end of the day, you earned the right to chill the f*** out. Between getting conned out of birthday money for years and influencers risking their lives for content, it's clear that everyone has done enough. Episode Sponsors: Go to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELEY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. New to Etsy? Use code HOLIDAY10 for 10% off your first purchase at Etsy.com Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome back to the Absolutely Not broadcast, this week Heather answers your wild voicemails Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather's got a lot to unpack. We're talking nervous breakdowns before the holiday festivities, Scarlet taking a tumble, and that's before we even hit the hotline. This Thanksgiving brought all of the family drama and Heather brought all of the answers. Episode Sponsors: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus FREE shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely. Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code absolutely to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, the iconic, fearless, bad ass Jane Fonda stops by the studio. Heather and Jane talk about her life and what it means to be a boss babe and living legend even when it seems the world is against you. Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY. Go to diviofficial.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Go to quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order. Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount and up to 35% off sets at fablepets.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is here to carry you through your Thanksgiving prep with the surprise bonus you need to get through the weekend. She’s jumping back into the DMs to answer all of your burning questions and give a little more unsolicited advice. Need help getting ready to deal with the family? Are you stressed because you still don't have the turkey order in yet? Wondering what Heather's "F***, Marry, Kill" is when it comes to the holiday meats? You came to the right place. Episode Sponsor: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food PLUS free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather recaps the special taping in her hometown in Atlanta at the iconic Fox Theatre. However, there's no sleep over in these parts! While answering the voicemails, she talks about her time up in Athens for College Gameday and the insecurity of some men on instagram after seeing nipples on TV.  Episode Sponsor: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Grab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/absolutely to get 10% off your first month. As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com and for a limited time return customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more too! Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, and joined by everyone’s favorite diva, Robin McMahan. Heather helps her prep for a date with a silver fox in LA (which unfortunately doesn’t go down), but Robin is still here dishing all of the sage advice - both on and off the hotline.  Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% ff your first purchase. My listeners get 15% off your first order when you use my code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. New to Etsy? Use the code HOLIDAY10 for ten percent off your first purchase at Etsy.com Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather reminisces about Halloween's past, early 2000's hits from 50 cent and B*Witched and other Hot Takes from yall on instagram. Then she hits the hotline to hear more of your voicemails on amazon wish lists, dog poop and gets reminded that she never sent her wedding thank you cards.  Episode Sponsors: Discover new ways to shop everything, every day, at Saks.com Go to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELTY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com/ABSOLUTELY! #jennikaynepartner Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit www.fablepets.com/Absolutely for more information. Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Head to factormeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather gives thanks to all of you hussies who watched the special, gets brought back down to reality by Robin after being on the road for weeks and gets some unsolicited advice her DM's. Rounding out the spiral, she gets into the voicemails where one fans admits that she is also trying to do better.   Episode Sponsors: Go to zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount at fablepets.com/absolutely Grab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in LA and sits down with Tina Tompkins- friends and employee number 2 at Absolutely Not Productions. Heather finds out a wedding secret Christina has been keeping from her, they gossip about their trip back to Ole Miss and respond to the newest set of wild voicemails.  Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Believe the the hype - SKIMS has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit fablepets.com/absolutely for more information. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Italy, and spilling the tea on what it’s like to be on vacation alone with Jeff, where she’s retiring, and the truth behind going to sporting events in Italy, She’s full of wine, and still full of shit! Episode Sponsors: Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Next time you’re thinking of celebrating a special moment in your life, remember that your natural diamond also protects vulnerable wildlife species and brings prosperity to many less fortunate communities around the world. Learn more at naturaldiamonds.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your favorite Wall Street girlie, Vivian Tu, is on the podcast to teach you everything about how to make money, how to keep it, and how to make more. New money b*tches - this one’s for you. Episode Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Catch new episodes of The Kardashians on Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu. Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutely Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping up at a show, strip teases, and an episode of cops (but in real life), and that's only the beginning. Judging by the Absolutely Not-Line it looks like everyone else's weekend was just as unhinged. Episode Sponsors: Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code [ABSOLUTELY] at lumepodcast.com Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.com Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you on October 17th. In the midst of the celebration she’s still taking time to hit the Absolutely Not Line to show some much-needed love to the theaters teachers, draw the hard line between making new friends and borderline stalking, and whether or not you should shoot your shot at a new sky boo. Episode Sponsors: Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domaine using code ABSOLUTELY Visit in-store or online at Brooklinen.com and use code absolutelysnot for $20 off your online order of $100 or more. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com/absolutely This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhep.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way of being your best self. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper way to hook your friends up, the best time of day to go out and find the right guy and more to get you prepped for the season. Episode Sponsors: Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always have the answers, but she'll always figure it out. Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Deolola on instagram to learn more. Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely, plus, you get FREE shipping. Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest. Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely. Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Right now, modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off of surviving the usual Vegas madness during her stop at Wynn, and back in the LA studio to do the work right after surviving Hurricane Hilary. She may or may not be spiraling, but that doesn't stop her from hitting the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss how let your setbacks be the setup for a comeback, why it just might be time to get a job at SpaceX, and the art of restaurant gaslighting. Episode Sponsors: Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely The perfect time to upgrade your sleep routine is now! Shop 15% off in-store at Brooklinen.com Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off (up to $10 value) when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash. Upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Right now, to go Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a personal idea she's been tinkering with for a minute, that will set your ovaries on fire. She hits the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss How to treat your elders, the ultimate fighting technique and why dudes everywhere are communicating via android and walking around naked in their homes. But in the meantime... "Imma go Eat!" Episode Sponsors: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Plus, you get FREE shipping! If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee* off your next order. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSO See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her dear friend, Brian Kelly AKA The Points Guy, to talk everything from the surrogate journey and being a dad, to the truth about being a boss, and how to finesse those sky miles and credit card points. Episode Sponsors: Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you to Nutrafol.com and use the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Right now, Ibotta is offering our my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely. Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows. Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather discusses how the Aliens have arrived, why summer reading was absolute b******t, why women tennis players need more money and really rounds it out answering your Voicemails about life. We have a caller let us know her husband asks for sex at the most inopportune times, but don't worry, we will beat him at his own game, literally!  Episode Sponsors: Right now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase when you go to BeisTravel.com/absolutely Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is back from her whirlwind week abroad after stalking down Harry Styles in italy. She sweat it out in the bathrooms at the Firenze Outlets, ate her weight in salami and handed out band aids to the youth at the music festival. SHE'S BACK BABY!!!!  Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/absolutely Switch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club! Get started today by shopping in-store at Target stores nationwide - just head to the shaving aisle to find the Razor Kit, Cloud Shave Foam, Wax Strips, and Razor Refills. Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/absolutely and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches up with the queen of ADHD herself, Robin McMahan, her mother. They discuss goals, linen, and how to get back at your ex. Robin bitches and complains that Heather is being a brat, and Heather tries to explain to Robin she needs to drink more water! Never a dull moment with the boomers!  Episode Sponsors: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10%off your first purchase of a website or domain. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and ender promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT Right now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a trip in frigid cold California with a sweaty undercarriage and anxiety to boot! Mercury must be in retrograde because technology is failing us and the voicemails on the Absolutely Not line were insane! One woman is getting scammed on a wedding registry while another is getting pranked by members of One Direction! Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at lumedeoderant.com/a/ABSOLUTELY! #lumepod Right now, BÉIS (base) is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast,  Heather interviews rising country music star, Logan Crosby. They discuss what it takes to write a country song, how to become a star and Logan confesses his affection for older women. Thats right lady- He's a cutie with a soulful voice looking for a lady who know's how to make a pie and do her own taxes. PURRRRRRRR. Logan is such a delight and has Heatherrolling with laughter as they attempt to write to Bangers, that are sure to hit the top 10 charts!  Episode Sponsor: Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.” Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is speedballing on a steroid pack post being humbled in the Hampton's and getting Rejected-then accepted at the most exclusive club on a pond in Montauk. She hangout with cool German porn stars and a chick with a lazy eye! So much fun in the cool kids club!! Heather also hits the "Absolutely NOT line" and answers questions about what to do if you know your gynecologists from High School, should you be upset if your ex rebound with an old broad and how to get your DONG pounced on! That and so much more! Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY Switch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club. Get started with Athena Club today by shopping in-store at Target nationwide. Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off the high and the hangover of her Radio City Performance- there was an epic afterparty and the next day was even wilder. Heather headed to the Hamptons post-show for some R+R but quickly realized its a scam out EAST! She brings on her travel buddy, co-founder of her favorite brand, Show Me Your Mumu, Cammy Miller. They discuss ZILLENIALS, QUIET LUXURY and why you couldn't pay either of them 250k to go check out the Titanic.  Episode Sponsors: New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. See terms at Etsy dot com slash terms. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com. Etsy has it! Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather shares the excitement, joy and fear she has rolling into one of the biggest nights of her life- Playing Radio City Music Hall. She takes a stroll down memory lane, and recalls the last time she attended a show there, Jeff had Diarrhea the whole time! FUN FOR EVERYONE!!! She also hits the Absolutely Not line- and answers loads of questions like "is too much CBD technically drugs?. How do I  work a google cal? and Beyhive dick in Europe is it a yay or nay?   Episode Sponsors:   If you want to take ownership of your health, try AH1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription –this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time.   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Produced by Dear Media    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her shows in Dallas with a hangover and general marital agitation. She is trying to save her Jute rugs from being destroyed by Mac, while also trying to train Jeff. She hits the hotline to answer questions such as "What if I called a man I slept with, Orzo?" And "how should I  feel If a stripper had the same perfume as me?" That and more!    Episode Sponsors:   Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com/ABSOLUTELY   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

      On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather breaks down her weekend in the NATH EAST. She describes the absolute savage tour Robin took her on around Bahstan's Lil Italy, and how she would leave Jeff for a union theater guy in a heartbeat. She has been on the hot trail of Taylor Swift and wants no drama from the fans. She also hits the hotline for some outrageous Voicemails.    Episode Sponsors:   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY.   The world’s most famous matriarchy is back for the most intimate look yet inside the family empire. Don’t miss season 3 of The Kardashians, new episodes Thursdays, only on Hulu.   Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping.   New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com. Etsy has it!   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with friend and hilarious comedian, Adam Ray. They discuss how they both got their start in Show biz in the 6th grade because they we're chubby children. Take a walk down memory lane- to remember the good ole' days of high School theater and frat/sorority life. Discuss how a good chicken salad sammie will make you want to sit on someone's face and how much they love to feel pure joy with their dogs.   To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's back is out but her attitude has returned. She's learning hard lessons like "everyone's an a*****e", "if you dont have a core, you're body will shut down" and "Dont get stabbed in Pittsburgh"-  She hits the hotline to try to make sense of why dentists ask you questions with their hands in your mouth and more!    Episode Sponsors:   Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulknation wide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.   Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY Plus, you get free shipping.   As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com   Your Memorial Day Sale is coming soon! Shop 20% off in-store or online at Brooklinen.com   Produced by Dear Media         See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather sits down with Jordana and Jared, hosts of the "U Up?" podcast, to talk about why couples pranks might be the worst side of TikTok, teach Jared maybe too much about feminine hygiene, and break down everything from relationships to why it just might be too late to save the turtles.   Episode Sponsors:   Shop jackets, jewelry, furniture, art, and more, made for all budgets and any occasion on Etsy. New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for 10% off your first purchase.   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather hits the hotline and answers your voicemails about the thrills of becoming a regular at a bar, how cheering on the elderly should be a regular thing, what to do if there is a kids gifts registry for a bday party and should you break up with someone if they take you to a swingers party? She’s helping one listener at a time and questioning her own existence as to why she doesn't have a live-in hibachi chef.   Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription – this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time.   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. That means your test will cost $159, which is a fraction of what it would cost at a fertility clinic.   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in, at the Memphis airport, ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more!    Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain.   Go to Zocdoc.com/absolutely and download the Zocdoc app or FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours.   Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorns brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday or any other day!    Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY plus, you get FREE shipping!    Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather and Jeff are taking a walk down memory lane in their old neighborhood. They have some advice for the Rat Czar of the city and take you behind the scenes of what a VIP experience at the Garden has in store for the local celebs. A Homeless man calls Heather a lesbian, and so so much more!   Episode Sponsors:   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday, or any other day!   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP is perfect for when I want a bold snack with a BOOM of flavor while unwinding at the end of the day. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with the ultimate SCAMMMMER, Ray, to discuss how they scammed their way into the masters, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They are honest and raw about how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they really drank!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Episode Sponsors:   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   For a limited time, get $20 off plus shipping on orders of $100+ with code absolutelynot at Brooklinen.com   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely   Crush your cravings with a variety of delicious ready-to-eat popcorn that's always gluten free, whole grain and non-GMO. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens if giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Augusta with a new business idea that will take doggy day cares, water parks, and sushi restaurants to the next level. She hits the Absolutely Not Line to discuss sister fights, being hungover and how we need to rephrase the term "were trying". She's back on the road and saltier than ever!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Episode Sponsors:   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your fist purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book atop-rated doctor today.   For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month's subscription - this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time.   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the DMs answering your hard-hitting questions from how to deal with f******s and HOA drama to what she'd want to be reincarnated as in the next life.   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Episode Sponsor:   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a weekend of shows in the Lonestar state and wants everyone to know she has figured out the answer to world peace- a simple San Antonio Fiesta. Slap a little Barbacoa on a shell and sit down with your neighbor- its that simple- actually she is on the verge of a full nervous breakdown and becomes so completely unhinged she needs to call into her own HOT LINE. She explains the new viral sensation, "Yummy Water", refreshes everyone on airplane etiquette and believes Gwenyth was innocent.   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Episode Sponsors:   Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.   Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.”   As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY   You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from her weekend of shows at the Ryman where she  set the fire alarm off in the middle of a tropical storm on Broadway! She hits the hotline and answers questions like “how does one get pink eye on a solo self care trip?” And “should we ban bachelorettes?”    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Sponsors:   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.   Prose is the key to achieving all your hair goals this year. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely.   For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world.   Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely60 and use code absolutely60 for 60% off plus free shipping.   Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is keeping it 100% that some days you just need to get into the back corner of your closet, suck on a J Crew sweater and scream. She's fresh from the road and trying to find the balance of staying uber professional and honestly, just not giving AF! The Voicemails are insane but also a fresh reminder to have manners at a theater, you dont get free refills in New York- and if you were fighting for your life as a kid in basic reading classes- what were you even doing?    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trail, and when you're ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month's subscription.   For a limited time, Scarface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off her shows in New England and ready to buy a house next to the Bush family on the beach. She felt the cool crisp seabreeze across her t**s and its reinvigorated her to take on turning 36 with gusto! She makes a list of all of the things she still wants to do before 40 and it turns out its just two things. She also hits the hotline and answers your questions like "do you want my grandma" and "why did a woman in florida try and break into my hotel". Its Heather's birthday episode and she is just getting the party started!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Let Dipsea be your go-to place to spice up your me-time, explore your fantasies, relax and unwind, or heat things up with a partner. Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely   It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around.   Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can entry at any time, on any occasion. You can try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com    Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from serving her country by performing comedy for drunk white women. Not only did she get to visit the white house, but bamboozled her way into the hearts of the national press and will never have to worry about unflattering TMZ photos ever again. She also hits the hotline and tries to make sense of why women can't open marinara jars and how do we stop our elderly mothers from getting swindled by ex-cons. That and more!   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely   Angie's Boomchickapop brings you a boom of bold, craveable flavor. Try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the studio with friend of the pod, Raymond Padilla, to talk what they're giving up for lent, Ray getting high on THC drinks and channel their inner Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Then they hit the Instagram DMs for some listener Q&A.   Episode Sponsor:   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is fresh from the Philly show where she may or may not have gotten in trouble for being a little too honest with the sports takes a little too soon. She got cookies hand-delivered to the stage by one of her favorite chefs, and later it almost got sticky for everyone at the Ritz-Carlton Club. Heather also hits the Absolutely Not line to discuss Uber drivers doing too much, when to die with the lie, and doubling down on some get back for one of last week’s callers.   Episode Sponsors:   Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY.   Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely.   Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely65 and use code absolutely65 for 65% off plus free shipping.   Try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media     See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather introduces her new little nugget Macaroni to the world with a real attitude. Heather is coming in hot because she already knows some woman named Willow is gonna bitch that she didn't rescue- but the defense will rest that she freaking TRIED! Heather also hits the Absolutely Not line to answer questions like- "what to do if you get a pube stuck in your throat?" to "why did my boyfriend break up with me after he found out I  have an incurable disease?" Were solving the world's problems one voicemail at a time!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE:ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at starface.world   Don’t sleep on savings. Brooklinen’s President’s Day Sale is happening now. Listening after the sale? Get the deals of your dreams at Brooklinen.com with promo code absolutelynot   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a weekend sling jokes in the midwest! She saw a woman smoke a blunt while buying Zyrtec, ate some pasta in Ohio, and had a lovely gal sneak into her dressing room in indiana! I FOUND YOU!!! If the midwest doesn't keep you on your toes, well then hell, nothing will! She hits the Absolutely Not line to learn about the beef between Iowa and Indiana and has a moment of self reflection.    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at Starface.world   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely   For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is sitting down with business gal and bff, Christina Tompkins- also know as TINA! They are reporting live from the turks and caicos on a very important Business trip, or at least that's what the accountant told them to say it was. They cover everything from vacation enemies, Robin's cough, what to look for in a man and a primary care physician. They solve to world one problem at a time, why? Because it's the year of the Rabbit!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today   As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY    Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

      On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is home from a wild weekend of shows in Augusta and Charleston. A woman tried to sit in Jeff's lap, she found a scammer at a hotel valet in Augusta and her to-do list is too long but she's keeping the attitude fresh.... until she fights with a crazy woman who is calls into the hotline to justify keeping her christmas tree up all year. ABSOLUTELY NOT.   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world   For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trail when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely   Grab your Liquid I.V.in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout   Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely21 and use code absolutely21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Texas with cedar fever and some new boots. She is taking a quick breath before she is back on the road again this weekend to listen to your insane voicemails. One girl is starting a business and another is hooking up with a Bouncer who threw her out. It's a wild ride and we're leaving no stone unturned.   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners freeshipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription   It’s the time to treat yourself this New Year. Go to printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT for 15% off your first order   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely   Produced by Dear Media   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live, from Austin,Texas! She narrowly made it to her hotel after riding in a maroon escalade with a drug dealer named Charlie, but is staying positive and looking at the brighter side of life. She got into a soft encounter with a woman doused in Aussie mouse and a man making 10 million dollar deals on the tarmac. She also hits the Absolutely NOT line to discuss y'all's b******t too.   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   For a limited time, Brooklinen is offering 15% off comforters. Listening after the sale? Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code absolutelynot for $20 off plus free shipping.   Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop.   Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely.    Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

           On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off a z-pack from Mexico and the ride of her life through the sofi stadium to be an SEC ally for the dawgs. She is sniffling her way through a week of LA work but truly no days off because tinseltown wait for no one. She discusses her own pretty woman moment at the Beverly Hills Hotel but how she reassured the staff that even though everyone at the Polo lounge has a soft southern accent- they werent gonna walk out on their tabs. Stay Humble but Stay Smoking!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Save 10% when you shop The BFF Bundle — a pack of classic AND salicylic acid stars designed to love your pimples all the way through the healing process at Starface.world   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.   Printfresh is a woman-owned, size-inclusive sleepwear and lifestyle brand with sizes ranging from XS to 6X. Head to Printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is ringing in the new years with fresh boundaries with her negative CVS. She will no longer allow their filthy carpet and refusal to take her insurance dampen her mood!! She has realized that sometimes you need to just sit in the shallow end of the pool, and think about shit on the steps, before you dive into the deep end of life!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.   To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com, and use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show.   It’s the time to treat yourself this New Year. Go to printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT for 15% off your first order.   Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop.   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows and doomsday prep for the 2023 shit show season. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was- It is too touchy of a subject that I guess they will push on to their therapists 10 years down the road. They both realize they need to learn a tangible skill like flying or boating, and Jeff promises to build Heather a tunnel behind the pool.    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Start a new healthy habit today. Visit Seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed'sDS-01™Daily Synbiotic.   Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop.   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely   Produced by Dear Media   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather prepares herself mentally for the battle of Christmas and reminds herself it's not about fighting a petite elderly woman for the last giftcard at Talbots. but rather a time to reflect on all the selfless good she has given the world through the years. She hits the Absolutely Not Line and gives unsolicited advice on how to survive the holidays and plan a cruise for your conspiracy theory loving in-laws.    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30.   Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Produced by Dear Media   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather sits down with friends and road dog, Andrew Collin. They are fresh off 3 shows in the midwest and recording live from a Hilton in Grand Rapids where the vibes are good but the temperature is frigid. Andrew and Heather discuss staying motivated, only working to 70% of their potential and what they would tell to their younger selves. This podcast is the least bit motivating and they are both idiots.    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Visit Brooklinen.com today and save 15% on your first purchase plus free shipping.   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today   Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   This Holiday season gift Away at AwayTravel.com/absolutely   Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% by using code ABSOLUTELY on spritzsociety.com   Produced by Dear Media   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is recovering from a wild weekend in the Big Easy where she received alot of attitude from mixologists and almost fought a college kid in a night club. She gives advice to a newly wed who paid for their wedding, unveils the mystery of how our parents are still able to post on facebook and questions what happened to a man who went overboard on a carnival cruise!    Sponsors:   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? To make trying something new easier, Ritual is offering my followers 10% off their first 3 months when you shop online at ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY   From exercise, to errands to sunset –I love my goodrs. You can go to goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY to get FREE shipping   Money can’t buy happiness. But not worrying about your money comes close. See for yourself why Chime is so loved at chime.com/absolutely   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her weekend in Mississippi eating pork rinds & cheering on the Sportz- She hits the Absolutely Not Line to dissect all of your Post- Thanksgiving Drama. You hoes were eating out doing Zero Tipping, talking to pervs in Dog Parks and ended up with a crotch staph infection. It's been a wild weekend and Auntie Heather is here to help.    Sponsors:   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30   You can now get ready for any occasion in head-to-toe Steve Madden. Use code ABSOLUTELY20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase at SteveMadden.com   Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   If you want to support the show and pick up a pair, goodr is giving Absolutely Not listeners FREE SHIPPING on your first order at goodr.com/ABSOLUTELY   Right now, you can get up to 45% off their best-selling products when you purchase select holiday sets by visiting ThriveCausemetics.com/absolutely   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is breaking down the pre-holiday anxiety we are all feeling in the back of our throats. The next week is going to be filled with family fights, food sensitivities and lots of farts! Heather walks you through your step by step Holiday survival guide so that you don't lose your shit on your Aunt Regina before the mashed potatoes even hit the deck. She hits the Absolutely Not-line and tries to give some sage advice to fellow stressed out holiday hosts- but remember at the end of the day- have your emergency cigs on stand-by.   Sponsors:   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Brooklinen's Biggest Sale of the Year is only for a limited time, and the deals don't get better. Visit Brooklinen.com and get $20 off plus free shipping on orders $100+ with code absolutelysnot.   As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY ​to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show.   Go to littlewordsproject.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 30% off your first order.   Visit SteveMadden.com and use code ABSOLUTELY20 FOR 20% off your first purchase.   Start a new healthy habit today. Visit seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed's DS-01™ Daily Synbiotic.   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from a weekend of shows in Florida. She was not invited to Tiffany Trump's wedding but instead spent the weekend slingin' jokes and searching for a new therapist in West Palm. There is something bout that Florida humidity that stirs up forgotten emotions and family trauma. We are working through all the feelings leading up to Turkey Day and answering your questions on the Absolutely Not Line.   Sponsors:   Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today.   Athletic Greens is going to give you is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   This Holiday season gift Away at AwayTravel.com/ABSOLUTELY   Visit SteveMadden.com and use code Absolutely20 at checkout for 20% off your first purchase   Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% off by using code ABSOLUTELY on SpritzSociety.com   If you go to GetQuip.com/ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT NOW, you’ll get your first refill FREE.   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Space Camp, aka a weekend of shows in Huntsville. She met a scientist at a bar that told her we only got a few weeks left- and wondered why can't the aliens fix our heavy periods? "Surely some bitch in outterspace knows how to stop a heavy flow?"- ya know that kinda vibe.   Sponsors:   Check out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off and free shipping on orders of $100+.   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $30 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely30   Get 10% off your first 3 months of Ritual when you visit Ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY & add Essential Protein today.   Go to LittleWordsProject.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 30% off your first order.   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.     See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh off her comedy special taping weekend- full of gratitude and adrenaline. She witnessed a fight over a snack break in the back kitchen of a salad joint and was ready to jump in and pop off, if need be. She's back with her weekly dose of unsolicited advice such as- "How to spice things up in the bedroom" to "Is it ok to eat del taco alone in your car to avoid your in-laws?"   Sponsors:   Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-boosting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY    Right now, you can get 15% off your first order when you visit ThriveCausemetics.com/ABSOLUTELY   With each can only 25 calories and 5g of sugar or less, Poppi can be found on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide   See for yourself why Chime is so loved at Chime.com/ABSOLUTELY   Thanks to our friends at Spritz Society, you can try their iconic sparkling cocktails for 10% off by using code ABSOLUTELY on SpritzSociety.com   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has a few biohacks for her early girlies. She hits the Absolutely NOT-line and comes up with a genius idea of how to start a men's therapy group under the full disguise of a man named Harry.    Sponsors:   Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases and bags at AwayTravel.com/absolutely   Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely   For listeners of the show, Everlywell is offering a special discount of twenty percent off an at-home lab test at Everlywell.com/absolutely   So start your credit journey with Chime at Chime.com/absolutely   If you go to GetQuip.com/ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT NOW, you’ll get your first refill FREE.   Produced by Dear Media   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.